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1957

  

 

 

Dated 14th January, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Inter Communication

While at Gulburga I happened to notice several times that you were trying to communicate your heart's feelings to me through prayer. You may be doing this consciously or in a subconscious state, that I cannot say. But I understood the sense though the words were not quite clear, and I did reply to you in the like manner. This denotes that you are proceeding towards Intercommunication stage. I think I should now be more plain about myself without any likelihood of being taken as an arrogant fellow. I often talk, when need be, to some distant sages in the like manner.

Astral form

You say you find me sitting before you in meditation time. Yes. I do come (in astral form) at your call and sometimes of my own accord too.

The conditions which an aspirant usually goes through are changing, and it must be, change being essential to bring in the state of Changelessness.

Masters Aspiration

I like all my associates to have a full experience of all the states so that they may be well fitted for the task of helping others by their own experience. To tell you frankly I have a burning desire to see at least one in every house, capable of coaching others spiritually. That is in fact a moment's work with the Master's power at the back. But I want you to have a full view of the inner life which in the words of Swami Vivekanandaji means 'Man behind man!'

You talk of the merging of the lover with the Beloved. That does come by ultimately. You should never think even for a while, that your progress is slow. I know best how to regulate and where to make the speed slow or fast. The brahmand mandal is a very vast region. The rishis of old have often taken years to go through all the numerous phases in order to acquire sufficient power for further approaches. I have devoted about one and a half years in cleaning your entire system, not minding whether you feel satisfied with it or not. The result thereof is now before you. I am at present busy with your inner making in addition to the usual job of preparing you for approach to upper regions. Rest assured that I shall detain you at points only so long as it be absolutely essential for your own good.

I am taking your emotional and intellectual centres also along side, which I explain to you by the diagram, enclosed herewith, to give you a knowledge of them.

Points A and B

Point A is the centre of Desires and B of Thoughts. I discovered them when I was at Madras and immediately tested them on Shri I. Sahai. But at present I do not think it advisable to touch them in your case. I am taking your points Xl, X2, Yl, Y2, Zl, Z2 devoting a week on each. I have omitted X3, Y3, Z3 because they are related to Kundalini and other powers. They may be taken up when it is proper. You should inform me of your condition regularly, leaving the rest to my judgement and discretion.

I have also taken up the case of sister. Please direct her to practice meditation at any time when she is free from the household work, in the usual manner as you do, thinking of the Divine Light in the heart.

When I left Tirupati I had discovered that a new state (i.e., seeing everything coloured in Divinity personified) was developing in you. Is my observation correct?

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 20/21 January, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Clarifications

Your doubts as regards your approach are but natural as you have not fully undergone the experiences of the various states. In this respect I may present the examples of Shri Ishwar Sahai and Kumari Kasturi, the two personalities of whom the Mission may well be proud of. Shri Ishwar Sahai was brought up to brahmand mandal within six months of his approach to me. What induced me to it was that I required hands for the Mission's work. Further on his selfless services compelled me to give him stages after stages in quick succession with the result that he has now entered the 12th circle (as described in the Reality at Dawn). He is now in a position to pull on the Mission's work with his efficacious training. He remains almost thoughtless, and enjoys the state where even Bliss has departed. He has not the slightest tinge of maya in his Transmissions. But in spite of this he has no experiential knowledge of all the various states in detail. In the case of Kumari Kasturi I did the same up to the brahmand mandal. But then I realised that experiential knowledge too must be acquired by the abhyasis for their own satisfaction. So I took her step by step. She has therefore a fair knowledge of all the states, major or minor, which she has passed through. She has so far gone through points counting from A to Z and again from Al to M1. Her experiences, together with my explanatory comments over them forms a unique record of the spiritual march.

You wish to remain steady in the state of Bliss and I too pray for it, rather I am taking you towards the point where Bliss even, fades away. I assure you that there is no likelihood of a 'Fall' when so much of the Master's power is at our back. Your reading about the centres is correct. I am taking several things all together for the sake of your speedy progress, as intimated in my previous letter.

Brahmand Mandal

I am happy to note that you are going deep into the brahmand mandal with good speed. All the powers of Nature (pleasant or unpleasant) are stored up here. I want you to contact them all.

Please have patience and let me have a chance to play my part well. I want, rather Nature wants you to be useful for the practical purposes. For that you must have practical experience and that is the true internal knowledge. Practical experience is necessary for a good trainer, so I wish you to have it full fledged, not minding the time, which I may assure you, shall not be longer than necessary. As for a hint of your present state I may say that one who has crossed the pind desh can in no case return to this world after death.

I feel an uncontrollable inward inducement to be with you again and again and this is due to strong attraction from your side. This evening at 8:15 P.M. (20th January, 1957) I felt you were telling me something. Please verify if it is true or it is only my fancy.

....

As for the children they are required only to hear the vibrations of the heart, resounding with 'Om' or 'Rama' for 15 minutes only and not to go in deep meditation. Their duty at present is to look to character-building and their studies to which they must devote themselves entirely.

With best wishes and love to children. Please convey my humble pranams to revered Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 21st January, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

After closing the last letter, I received yours of 17th January, 1957, full of promising hopes of brighter prospects. The point of Brahamarindra is not yet open, but you were led to believe it so, because while going deep into the brahmand mandal you had come across glimpses of it. Every cell contains the essence of all the forgoing states.

Centre XI

I am taking up the purification of your centre X1, hence there may have been slight sex trouble but it shall soon come round. I shall not be able to continue this work from 4th to 8th Feb. but due to my making by the Master's grace when and wherever help is needed, my thought is automatically there though I may be as busy as possible.

I am glad that you felt our Master's power rushing in though slowly. It is so, but it is very deep acting like a homeopathic dose of high potency. This is very essential for the inner making and you will realise its effect when time matures for it.

Point M1

By the way I may quote from the letter of Kumari Kasturi the wonderful description of her state on the point M1 as intimated to me by her recent letter. She says, 'I feel that puja, meditation, love and devotion were all like dirt which has been washed away.' What a high state it is no doubt.

....

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 7th February, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

....

Remembrance in Sleep

On the 22nd night I had practically no sleep except for about an hour. I remained busy all night with the work lying in arrears on account of S.I. tour. At midnight I watched you to be sleeping, with the same idea of "I" (as related to me) present in your heart. I was very glad and began transmitting to you strongly. Your experiences the next morning may probably be due to that effect.

Colour of Brahmand

The bluish grey colour witnessed by you is the colour of brahmand. As such it is but natural to experience it as we pass through.

Circles of Egoism - Clarification

The eleven circles of Egoism (and not ten as you stated) have no connection with five points of pancha agni. It is very difficult to locate them physically in the human body as they are extremely fine and subtle. They are really the different states of Ego or ahankar in the purified form. The circles end in an almost extinction of Egoism.

As for your uplift it is needless to say that it is continuous from day to day in a supernormal way but it is very difficult to explain the daily changes which are so minute that they can hardly be distinguished from each other.

Inter Communication a Caution

You had been, as you say, accustomed to communicate to God. But mind this capacity (to communicate with Souls) develops automatically when a certain spiritual state is arrived at. Attempts to acquire it before that by artificial means or force of practice is often dangerous and is likely to lead to false conceptions.

With best wishes and love to children. Convey my due respect to your father.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 2nd March, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Received your affectionate letters dated 11th February, 1957 and 23rd February, 1957. I did not reply these letters earlier with a view to avoid mental strain upon you during the previous illness. I am overjoyed to know that you are now free from sufferings. May you live long to irrigate the minds of the people morally, intellectually and spiritually! The time is not now far off for it. I speak highly of you that you could stand patiently such a painful disease. You are perfectly right that the disease was a boon to you and an anxiety to me. You have really been purified to a great extent, swimming at the higher pitch of pind pradesh.

Laya Avastha in Pind Pradesh

You have begun to become the part and parcel of the condition of the pind pradesh which we call laya avastha in that region. Think it deeply and you will find that there is a change in your inner life. You must be feeling a kind of spiritual fragrance.

Love towards Master

You have surpassed me in love to my Master. I think I must write with tears that I could not love my Master as he deserved! I do not want to keep in myself the spiritual treasure bestowed to me by my Master for you all. Please relieve me of the pressure of this responsibility as soon as possible.

When I read your lovely letters I often think, 'Am I a fit man to be loved?'

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 17th March, 1957

My dear Brother,

Received your most affectionate letters of the 28th February, 8th March and 11th March. I am replying all of them. Events at Allahabad seem to have distressed you much. I came to know of it from Shri Ishwar Sahai too. He had informed you of all incident. I too on my part do not want to keep any secret from you, who is developing to be a part and parcel of my own self. I shall always be free to you henceforth.

Now I come to the point. My heart has already melted to an extent that when vibrations of thoughts enter in it, they form their own shape. Bewailings of the mother and the patient's children moved my heart to pity to an extent that underwent the process, which I did not even know a minute before. Once I had requested my Master to reveal the process to me, but he refused saying that he did not trust me in this respect. But when time came, the process was clear to me within a moment's concentration and in an instant the action was done, so suddenly of course, that even my Master found no time to check me from doing so. I had even acted in an unnatural way in this case. I wiped off the evil influence of the stars at the time and directed with full force, the good effect of the favourable stars. This was being verified at each step by one of my associates who is an astronomer. Soon after I observed heavy frowns on the Master's face and he scolded me much saying that the part of life I had transferred did not belong to me entirely, but to the world Which had full claim over it. You will be surprised to know that the thing came to the knowledge of Saint Kasturi, the very instant it was done at Allahabad and she told about it to her mother and others. When I returned to Lakhimpur she verified it from me.

When the doctors saw that the tuberculosis glands had burst spreading the poison throughout the body they entirely gave up hopes and stopped further treatment. When I watched her system I too found the poison there. I pulled it out, though the process is generally disallowed, as the poison, being very powerful, acts upon the doer. So I got it. Afterwards I liquidated about 60% of it as I felt that my brain was not working as soundly as before. But when I resumed its normal working I left the rest at its place as that much time could better be utilised for the good of others. This is but my nature which may be attributed to lethargy. One of my associates has prescribed Natrum Mur 6X for me which I sometimes take. The blackness is still there although considerably reduced. The acute pain, soon after, has also eaten away much of the poison.

When the disease is taken out it is not brought on ones own self but is thrown aside. Whereas in poison cases it does affect the doer to some extent. For this very reason the process is generally disallowed in pthsis, snake-bite and syphillis or like cases. It may be a wonder to note that in case of a disciple, so closely attached to the Master as to feel almost one with him, his samskaras pass on to the Master for bhoga, though of course a greater part of it is fried up by itself. You may thereby naturally conclude that loving the Master means torture to him but so is not the case. Suppose there is no such disciple of that capacity, the Master, being himself free from all samskaras past and present, shall then begin to contract samskaras from unknown source to keep up his physical existence. Such a question was once asked by Shri Ganesan of Trichy. It will appear in the next issue of the magazine along with my answer to it. It is thus the Nature's Boon to the Master who cannot otherwise attain the state of Liberation in life. But these are the things reserved only for personalities of my Master's calibre. One thing more in this connection. The abhyasi too after a time begins to stop the formation of samskaras. I pray and hope that you may come up to it soon and I shall inform you when you are there. I think you are right in saying that my life is more useful to the Mission and the world in general. There are men in India, (occident may mourn for such ones) who have not the least regard for their life if they find some good coming out by sacrificing it. Take the case of Gandhiji. He was once fasting for 21 days and his condition had at a time fallen down so much as to compel the doctor to declare, 'Nothing but the immediate ending of fast or some miracle can save his life.' At that critical moment a saint of India did transfer his whole life to him. He also left a note stating that Gandhiji's Life is more precious -- than his and he was immediately dead. It was published in the papers the cutting of which was preserved by one of my brother disciples.

So has it happened again now in my case. At 7.55 P.M. on (date unavailable) I was intercommuned by a sage of Ceylon who stated that he has been ordered from above that he should transfer to me from his life, the portion which I have lost. My Master directed me to be attentive to him. I did so and in an instant the action was over and the gap was filled in. This sage was the disciple of one who was in communion with me sometime ago and was in my personal attendance (in astral form) at the time of my first tour to South India. He also used to draw impulse from me and was under my training. He attended me for all the time I remained on tour. He kept me informed of all things necessary and helped me at every step. He had also requested me to blow up Colombo as it was the place of grossest debauchery due to the influence of the foreigners. I consulted the Master and he disallowed it. He also promised to offer me his full support if I started my Master's Mission in S.I. He is now in the Brighter World. The present sage is his disciple. He has made this great sacrifice in compliance with - his Master's -order. On 7th March some more sages made the same offer which I declined to accept as I do not mean to stay for more than the allotted period. Saint Kasturi knew of it the very moment and she reported to me all about it for verification. This is due to her devotion that now nothing can remain as secret from her. Shri Ishwar Sahai also verified it by his own insight. Thus your worry over the incident should now over. I am highly indebted to the sage for this sacrifice and I am thinking how it is to be repaid.

Main Goal of Life

Now your letter of the 8th March, 1957. Believe me my dear Varadachari that you deserve more than you understand. My heart is like a piece of iron which is easily attracted by a magnet. Your devotional attitude has made your heart a magnet to attract mine, for which you deserve my congratulations. It is now a pretty hard task for me to restrain myself from giving you further approaches earlier than necessary for the sake of proper training and internal knowledge of experiences. Experiences however subtle they might be, add to the store of internal knowledge. There are different kinds of bliss which an abhyasi can well understand by comparing them with one another. What you have finally to gain is neither bliss nor otherwise a changeless state. I remember to have asked my Master whether this is the very bliss reigning in me, for which your gracious self has laboured so long. I feel but Nothing and Nothing. He replied to me that if your present state is for a moment pulled off from you, would you like it or not. I submitted respectfully that I would prefer death to parting from it even for a moment. What charm is there, no words can describe. Regarding your idea that my every word and action displays Negation I may say that I feel nothing of the kind in me. Similar may be the case with you. You too may not be feeling the state which I do in you. Surely enough if any one having a keen eye studies you he will definitely arrive at the conclusion that my Varadachari is born newly again. Think my heart to be your playground. Mr. Subramaniam has written me that you have unbounded love for me (i.e. for one who is totally gone in true sense). Now you can yourself imagine where your devotion rests. I think where everything ends. What that place can be? Nothing but that where we are to rest - the main goal of life. In other words you are where you want to reach finally. What else now you want to acquire? Nothing but experiences of the path and the unfoldment of self for the guidance of others.

Now your letter of 11th March, 1957. I am elated with joy to read the contents. How fortunate I am to see such a good condition displaying in you. I think that thousands of kingdoms can be sacrificed even for a tiny grain of it.

Fragrance of the Soul

You write, 'I was feeling indrawn throughout yesterday and getting a state of inactivity or quietness of mind.' This state of quietness remains inwardly all along your day's work. It means you have embraced the soul I in all its corners and you are now proceeding with it. This is a kind of laya avastha. This is the fragrance of the soul which I meant in my last letter. It is not felt by the sense organs as it is not a material thing. A man having an open internal vision will be soothed if he peeps into your internal condition. This very moment as I am attentive to you I am feeling the same thing and find myself soothed, by the mere touch.

With best wishes,

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Tirupati

25th March 1957

My dear Revered and loving Gurudev,

Please accept my pranams and love. I have been able to meditate for some time all these days and yesterday morning I did extend the time for half an hour, though in the evening it was much less. So also this morning. I have not yet got back the strength or is it due to something else? I do not know.

I am deeply moved by the letter from Shri Ishwar Sahai that you have been speaking highly of my love and devotion. I do not feel that I have merited this praise yet, for yet there are waves of depression on and off which makes me feel utterly helpless and a sense of nothingness.

Clarifications of Conditions

I am impatient in a sense for the full experience and I do not know that I have already been taken over many of the hurdles. Further whilst one has crossed over the pind pradesh how can he be yet swimming or becoming part and parcel of the laya avastha of the pind pradesh? This was one of my problems. But I have taken it that it is no longer my concern whether I go past the pind pradesh or swim in the brahmanda mandal or attain the state that has to be achieved and all that remains is to know each and every step in between so that I could be of use to all and perform my humble service to Thee who art the Incarnate Guru, the Personality sent by the Divine for our salvation and evolution. I am thine and that is that. As Thou hast said when the conditions are ready all will be shown and made known.

Shri Ishwar Sahai also wrote to me that I should attend to Thee more and more. I am trying my best thanks to Thy grace. Certain past bondages, both spiritual and physical and otherwise, come again and again for solution and discussion. I get into certain states of being which reflect the disturbance. I hope that I could get over the same by Thy grace. It is as I have felt truly, Thy love that drags me to Thee and I have felt that though there are all types of interfering thoughts and dreams, Thy will shall prevail ultimately so that I may be able to reconcile and recognize all the facets of Reality or how the many could be reconciled by the One Knowledge of Changeless Reality; I do not wish to limit the Nature of Reality to any one particular experience or creed or dogma of speculation or seer even.

I only sincerely pray that all my doubts will be soon resolved, and I will be Thine without reserve and know Thee to be the summit awareness, the fulfillment of all that is to be known and loved.

Thou hast written to me that Thou canst not wait longer for giving me further steps on the Path. I am deeply longing forward for thy blessing and open my self to thee without any reserve.

Please accept again my self as thy Body and Be Thou my Self.

All are well.

Yours

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 30th March, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Layaavastha in Pinddesh and Brahmand - Clarifications

Received your affectionate letters dated 19, 20 and 21st March, 1957. .... Changes are being undoubtedly made subtly and I hope and pray that in near future you will feel yourself my very being. You have strongly linked up with me so you feel peace all the time. I am now clearing the point regarding your laya avastha of the pind pradesh. Pind is regarded as body so I use this word in term of yoga denoting forgetfulness of the body. It remains continued for a longer time, of course with so many changes. Laya avastha in brahmand mandal means to be absorbed in the condition what one has there. Your cross region after region getting force for this very thing. The spirituality works in bringing laya avastha of the body first and the soul afterwards. When the body idea is gone the idea of soul creeps in, when that too is gone then laya avastha is admirably high. What you feel today must be gone tomorrow for something higher. Am I now clear on this point? I have finished the work of the centres x, y and soon and you are relating the condition as their outcome. The centres which follow after them will be taken up when you proceed high above the level required for the taking up of the subtler ones. My dear Varadachari I promise that I will leave no stone unturned what is possible for me for your approach. May God help me.

..... I cannot help saying that the idea of cleaning the system prevails only in your sanstha. It is of course a very tedious job but it has grown into mania to me.

Layaavastha of the Body

I am attracted to your sentence as you say, 'I am experiencing profound calm and indrawn condition.' Nothing in the world can give me more pleasure than to see my associates progressing spiritually. When I viewed the other sentence of the letter that you feel yourself to be my body I was reminded to write a sentence more in connection with laya avastha of pind pradesh. I have mentioned somewhere in Efficacy of Raja Yoga that an abhyasi after some practice begins to feel his body to be of his Master. This is the symptom of laya avastha which exhausts the feeling of the body to be his own. I must congratulate you for it.

May I ask you if you feel your indriyas regulated as the result of touching the centres x, y and so on. Personally I feel a thin layer over them for which I am pondering if it should be torn off at present. I have not yet come to the definite conclusion but it will be done decidedly if not this time.

..... I am thinking of connecting your link to the spot where you have to jump ultimately as I have done in a few cases. In this state your progress cannot be retarded even if I am gone from this world. This is one of the reasons why curvature cannot form in my sanstha according to Ouspensky's thought, and Shri Ram Chandra Mission can never come into decay. There are other reasons too which cannot give rise to curvature. I will explain them to you by means of diagrams relating their dynamics during my next visit to Tirupati. .....

Love of Master

While I was dictating the above letter your letter dated 25th March reached me. I think the point which you wanted to know is covered in the above reply of the letter. Remember - you cannot, - come down, there is absolutely no fear of a fall. Regarding Shri Ishwar Sahai's writing that you should attend to me more and more, I would say in this respect that may God give me strength to attend to you more and more. I shall be happy only when I see my Varadachari in all forms and colours. I have reserved this week for your inner evolution understanding at the same time that more such weeks will have to be reserved for it. I am glad that my sister is improving in health. Her spiritual condition is that her heart is full of light and regarding yourself your whole body is flooded with it. A few days back I was sitting before my Master receiving His grace. I diverted it a little to you to make you also the co-sharer.

I found, a minute after, the glow of light in your entire body. I was elated with joy to see this scene.

With best wishes to you and love to children. Convey my pranam to Appaji,

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 10th April, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Your affectionate letter dated 29th March, 1957 and 4th April, 1957 to hand. Your experiences of the inflow of spiritual energy are highly encouraging.

"The joy in being Nothing in me" is of course a thing of great merit and must be grasped in true sense by a real seeker. But my view goes further on over the ideas of 'joyless joy in being nothing as mine or mine as nothing'. Now what does my Varadachari say to it? Does the living dead (in your sense as being 'in the Master or dead to ourself) convey anything else? The question whether I have captivated you or you have captivated me remains pending still. How is it to be solved? I leave it to your arbitration. But mind! Please do not be partial in your judgement.

In reply to your next letter I may say that a man takes up residence in a house only when it is thoroughly cleaned and furnished. So I have devoted the week to the similar type of service to my Master who has been showering blessings incessantly. This is all for the duty of a servant. The rest depend upon the Master's sweet will. The result though not clearly perceptible to you at present may come to your knowledge after some time.

Keshava Chandra Sen's view quoted in your letter as to 'wait to hear the voice of God,' implies indirectly to meditation or prayer which of course is essential.

As for clairvoyance and clairaudience do not bother yourself with it. Let it come automatically. It really develops when one is reduced to 'Nothing as me' as referred to in the preceding para of this letter.

.....

With best wishes and love to children. Please convey my pranam to Appaji.

yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 20/23 April, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Orientation towards Master

Received your affectionate lettered dated 13th and 18th April 1957. Since I went to Tirupati, I find that I have begun to live with you. There is certainly the inflow of spiritual energy nearly all the time because you remain mostly in pious thoughts of eternity. I have every hope from you that you will turn to be a spiritual giant and the people will be benefited by you. All you desire about the merging of senses will ultimately come to pass and the joyless joy for which you are endeavouring will be the outcome of your spiritual activities. The condition of being a living dead has been started. The vacuity which you have felt is due to the fact that senses are now being affected to come in the state of suspension. It will not be a long time before you will feel the effect.

I have written to you probably in the last letter that all your body is flooded with light and that you have experienced yourself. You have felt me in yourself and the feeling is correct.

You have mentioned in your letter dated 18th April 57 that you feel yourself sinful and so the feeling of depression arises. I remember I had written the same to my Master. He replied that this sort of feeling shows the complete gentlemanliness required in a man. So we should not submit to depression. This is the spiritual condition for which I must be happy.

Yatra

I am happy to feel that the yatra of pind pradesh is over about a week ago. Now comes the turn to pull you to the para brahmanda mandal where the nature of bliss will be changed. I have not pulled you to that region so far because I have to correct several other things and also to make you powerful to reach the para brahmanda mandal yourself. But you have no concern with these things. I am doing what is best for you. Will you please inform me that you feel yourself restless to go above your present state? Do you feel yourself vexed sometimes when our thought fails to take the higher jump. If so, do you feel any limitations in giving your thought a free access to the next higher region?

.....

Moksha

My dear Varadachari, moksha is not a difficult job but we should see what are the factors in nature that may be utilised for the good of a man.

I feel that your mother has not taken birth as yet. So I feel that liberation is possible for that pious lady if earnestly prayed. This is our duty too.

With best wishes to you and love to children. Please convey my pranams to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

P.S. ..........

As a precaution I must inform you that you must not utter any harmful word (what we call shap in Sanskrit) to others because if you are deeply absorbed in the Being at that time it may come to pass.

Ram Chandra

 

Tirupati

25th April 1957

My dear revered and beloved Gurudev,

Layavastha

Pranams and greetings. I believe you are in receipt of my letter of last week. Since last week I have nothing to report except to say that I had tried to comprehend the meaning of what you wrote regarding 'dying in me'. It had been an obsession with me to experience this for a long time. To live in God is life, to live outside him is death. The experience of the utter nothingness of 'I' is perhaps the other death which is significant. I should like to have the latter for I die in God and God alone IS. That obviously was what I believe was meant by the laya-state. My ego merged in Thee, my mind merged in Thy Mind, my senses merged in Thy Senses and the organs of action (karma indriyas) merged in Thy karma indriyas. I do not know whether this nyasa or dedication or offering will not lead to that ecstasy of 1aya which will also be peace.

In any case I found myself constantly thinking of this mergence in Thee.

However I have another thing to report. Why is it that I am worried about my future employment etc., for it is imminent and I have too many commitments which without further employment or extension of service I cannot see any way to discharge, not to speak of living. Again and again during the past two days I was forced up from my sleep about midnight to appeal to Thee and seek shelter about this future. You have written a few months ago that I need not worry and that things seem to be clear in the future and the problem of life is solved. I am only sorry that I have to be forced to think of it again and again, and not give up myself entirely to God and the Master for things to turn up without distress. I also feel that it is indeed not quite good form to be writing about my economic and other situations to the Master and yet I could not help writing about them to You who knows all. It grieves me much but I do not know to whom else I could turn except you. Please forgive me. Things are not all right with me however in that direction.

I also observed that though I am in continuous meditation the duration of my meditation period in the evenings and mornings hardly exceeds 15 minutes for I find the experience of breaking off. Can I have an explanation from, the Master. This also gives me some anxiety. My health is almost restored and I am not having any worry about the matter.

I am sure that my peace will not be disturbed and the abhyas will go on triumphantly to its glorious conclusion.

All children and my father are all right in health.

Please accept my loving pranams.

Yours,

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 9th May, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Received your affectionate letters dated 25th April, 1957, 26th April, 1957 and 5th May, 1957.

It is not your thought that awakened you from the sleep for pondering over the future problems. I often considered it and prayed for the better prospects in your life. Even now this problem often comes to my mind, and I pray to God for His grace. In our parts Allahabad and Lucknow Universities have fixed 62 years as the maximum age for service; while Agra University has fixed the age limit at 60. I do not know as to what is the age of superannuation fixed by your university. You are about 52 years of age, and I think after the maximum period, some university will most probably engage you if the extension is not allowed in your university. You have revealed all these facts to me because you regard me as one of the members of your own family. It denotes your affection.

Layavastha

I do not mind if the duration of meditation in the morning and evening is 15 minutes, for you remain engrossed in the Being for the most part of the day and night. You have defined the ultimate laya avastha correctly. But laya avasthas come at each step; and when you emerge out of it a kind of life according to the step taken, begins to prevail, till the turn of the other higher one (laya avastha) comes. I give you a true indication of laya avastha, which ultimately comes after a toilsome journey. Where 'I' is totally gone, and when you speak that word it refers, to none... i.e., neither to the soul nor to the body and nor to God. There is something after it as well, which is not at all possible to be expressed in words. However, it can only be said that this is the stage where you make laya of laya avastha itself. Now you are benumbed and senseless, and at the same time the knower of almost everything. My dear, if I say anything further, people may call me a dunce. So my prayer is, 'May the day dawn when the living souls may come to know of it.'

Connection to Main Source

How anxious I am to give you approach as much as is possible for me; and am always encouraged in your case because my Master's grace is there. During my next visit to Tirupati, I will pray to Him to connect you with the main source, with the result that you will remain connected permanently. It is a very happy sign that you are yearning to go beyond the present stage; and you will have it without doubt. Really speaking the whole of the continent belongs to you, but it is ruled by the foreigners.

True Seeker

You have written to me in the letter dated May 5 that you are experiencing transmission power during the past few days. Your feeling is correct, but I have not been unmindful with certain important things of the system. I will do what I am doing at least for a few days more. Afterwards you will have glad tidings of reaching brahmand mandal. But look here, Varadachari, this is not the goal. You have to travel a far off distance. The true seeker of knowledge must not rest at any place, but should always be on the march.

.....

Convey my respects to Appaji. With best wishes to you and love to children,

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 17th May, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Received your affectionate letters dated 9th, 11th and 13th May, 1957. You are nearly all the time in meditation. So if the duration has not increased it matters little. But if you increase the meditation then you will have the knowledge and experience of your spiritual elevation.

Sensitiveness

You are really very sensitive and you are right in judging that the centres on the right back are being purified. I have touched them a little and have purified them greatly.

Para Brahmandal Mandal

Here is a happy news for you that on 14th May, 1957 at 3:15 p.m. you reached the border of para brahmanda mandal. I heartily congratulate you for the same. Specially because you reached out of your own effort for which I was eagerly waiting.

But I do not know why I am so strict on you - can you give me any reason for it? I think it may be due to the fact that the Reward is waiting for you, not you for the reward.

Grace of Master

I find the grace of the Master in abundance towards our Mission that He has moulded His teachings in a way as to quicken the approach. Throbbing at Brahmarindhra and at many other places, I find here among my associates also. I recall my period of abhyas and my fellow disciples, who did not experience such sensations so early.

With best wishes to you and love to children. Please convey my respect and pranams to Appaji,

Yours,

Ram Chandra

Intentions

P.S. Will you please throw some light on the question I am pondering over these days? In the case of intentions, manas (individual mind) follows the intention. Wherefrom does this intention arise? Is it the work of the individual mind to arouse the intention with its deeper aspect and then to follow it by its outer aspect? Or the soul grasps what we see and hear and then it causes waves in the mind-lake (chitta) to be followed by the mind?

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 27th May, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Received your affectionate letter dated 21st May, 1957..

Intentions

I agree with your solution about the 'intention' and the 'individual mind'. You have written to me a new thing to be considered, that in the stage of ignorance intention comes first and then mind and the soul attains the object. The circles I have given in the Reality at Dawn covers the wider range of spirituality. Regarding it I can say you have crossed the first circle. You need not bother yourself with these things. This is my business and duty.

Sage

The man who crosses two or three circles is no less than a sage. I will rather call him and respect him as one of the great sages. Will you please study how nature of bliss changes and ultimately it comes to naught.

Submissiveness

I am moved to read your sentence, "I have not found any reason in me so far for my worthiness. Even so is the case with thy interest or strictness with me." This shows your submissiveness and devotion towards the Master. Really speaking if my Master is kind to me his eyes are there on me. If he is strict even then his eyes fall upon me. We succeed in turning his attention on ourselves. What else does a servant require?

The service of the Mission is always rewarded because it is the pious work for the general good. ....... With best wishes to you and love to children. Please convey my pranams to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

31st May 1957

My dear revered and beloved Gurudev,

Please accept my pranams. Your kind letter dated 27th was thankfully received by me today. I am grateful for the loving words of encouragement.

Circles and Pradeshas

I was wondering about the matter of correspondence or relationship between the circles and the pradeshas whether there was any relation between the first five circles and the pind Pradesh, the second 11 circles and the brahmanda and so on. 'Therefore my question about my being at what circle. I am deeply thankful to you for the information. As you have said it is none of my business. All that is relevant is to intimate to you my present condition.

I felt I was almost experiencing living death during the past five days. Indeed today I had to leave for Mysore but cancelled it as I was feeling physically unfit for the journey, ...... Further I was somehow overpowered by a kind of dejection though it is different from the usual kind of worry and so on.

Regarding functionaries

Again another curiosity or rather doubt arose in my mind about the relationship between the Vasu, Dhruva, Dhruadhipa and the Vasu, Rudra and Aditya of the Vedas which equate these with the ancestors the dead father, dead grandfather and dead great grandfather of the tarponas. I was wondering whether the word Dhrua was a play on Rudra (reversing the word in Sanskrit). This was an interesting thing also. But these pertain to the view that such ancestors are those who have gone beyond the pind pradesh and not to all, though it is being used otherwise these days.

I shall be glad to have your replies to these.

Conditions

The state of bliss has passed away leaving a kind of vacuity or naught. But the old samskaras yet invade. Anxiety is less present, but a kind of numbness of the mind is present except when some work has to be done. I merely sit on and on without any activity for hours except for some old and sometimes unwelcome reflections. But thanks to my thinking of Thee soon they pass. Resentment and anger also Slowly pass away leading of the sense of resignation on my part waiting for the Master's will to do as He pleases.

......

I am trying to keep up my spirits high in the knowledge that my Master is with me all the time and. nothing untoward can happen to me. I am aspiring and looking forward to the day when

I might do my humble best for my Master and God.

Have I merged in Thee and God in all my parts then I would feel free from all the experience of unhappiness, humiliation and all? When I cease to be then perhaps all will be well.

With humblest pranams to my Self,

Yours,

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 8th June, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Signs of Vanishing Ego

Received your affectionate letter dated 31st May, 1957. The experience of the feeling of the 'living dead' supplemented by a sense of vacuity reflects signs of vanishing of Ego and this is on account of the process you have undertaken. The dream state mentioned in the first letter also relates to the same condition.

Mergence

In response to your query about the merging of self, all that I can say is that when I look to myself I find myself to be Varadachari. That may be sufficient to give you an idea of the thing, Complete merging means no difference between the two, and that is an end of all activities. There is no training of any kind after it. It may in a sense be regarded as full-fledged 'Perfection'. You are no doubt proceeding towards it and with a wonderfully rapid pace too, but it is still a long course and may yet take a good time.

Advancement into Para-Brahmanda Mandal

May you be pleased to know that at 10-30 A.M. on 4/6/57 you advanced a pretty good distance into para brahmanda mandal with one sudden leap. My congratulations to you for this.

Functionaries

The Godly functionaries termed as Vasu, Dhruva etc. are meant for nature's work. These stages are possible only when one goes beyond pind desh. In that case the point in the Hylem Shadow is awakened through the medium of a saint of calibre or in certain cases automatically by nature herself. In pind desh there is of course one petty post, the Sanskrit name of which is given by the Master somewhere but which I do not remember at present. No special point is fixed for it. The state is awakened by energising the five points of pind desh, and strengthening the condition at their back.

The throbbing at certain points in the body shows that action has started on those points. It is thus a fortunate sign.

.....

With best wishes to you and love to children. Please convey my respect and pranams to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

27th June 1957

My Dear Revered Gurudev,

Please accept my loving pranams, I trust you are now restored to health after your stay in the forests near Lakhimpur.

.....

During the past one week, from about the 24th I have been experiencing great restlessness.

I do not know any reason for the same except perhaps my anxiety about my future at this place of which I have hardly any definite information yet. I have obviously no plans too about the future. I have placed myself at the feet of the Divine Master and only pray for guidance and help in all things. But I also felt that it was not merely due to this anxiety. Something much deeper seems to be taking place. The throbbing at the crown of the head (brahmarandra) the back and pressure on the chest region, now on the right and now on the left, seems to suggest that Nature's processes are going on deep in the being. I feel myself several times as having no work and no energy.

I pray that I may be enlightened and I may be able to see with what vision that the Master deigns to grant. I am feeling restless all the Please accept my pranams and love.

Yours,

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 30th June, 1957

1st July, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Real Reality

I am very thankful to you to receive your speech delivered in connection with Shri Aurobindo Jayanti. It is really displaying your learning. I am writing, a little for your understanding about the description of real Reality given in the Reality at Dawn. I experienced it after 22 years of continuous abhyas when the charm of life was lost and I was nowhere in myself. "The true nature of Zero or Centre which one must crave for if he is ' really earnest about achieving the Ultimate, is neither unreal nor elusive. It however, appears so only when we apply the wrong medium of senses to enclose it within the fold of human language for the sake of expression. That is the main difficulty in the path and the philosophy is to a great deal responsible for it. To realise 'Him as He be' must therefore be the real pursuit of life. I have said something about that ultimate state in a recently written Hindi book under the name Anant Ki Or (Towards Infinity)."

Perfect Realisation

On your march to freedom you will cross innumerable kinds of blisses and conditions. When you acquire the changeless state then the problem of life is thoroughly solved and that is the perfect realisation, the air of which you may be feeling sometimes though momentary. I cannot rest unless I am able to bring you to that state of realisation. If the thoughts torment you during meditation then it is a sure sign that the poisonous matter is coming out to the surface to be removed. Since we have to gain liberation in this very life we are obliged to take up the earlier course. It generally happens that one does not remember the thoughts flowing during meditation. The system is being cleaned in this way so that the field may be free from roughness.

Signs of Progress

My prayer for you is that you may lead a happy life both worldly and spiritually. The colour you feel at the present stage is really dark blue. As you proceed on bluish colour gradually diminishes and dark follows which also grows faint in your further march. I assure you once more that the whole of your body is illumined which you witnessed sometimes.

Mergence

Regarding the idea of merging I can only say that you are welcoming me and I am coming to you. We are the followers of Shri Vaishnavism but personally I have only one thought of my Master. Now I have begun to love Shri Ramanujacharya appreciating him in all respects and I often automatically think of him during day and night. It shows that you are giving to me your own belongings and that is a step towards merging. I have seen you twice in this week in dreams. Last time I saw you giving me food.

.....

With best wishes to you and love to children. Please convey my respects to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Tirupati

30th June 1957

My dear Revered and beloved Gurudev,

Please accept my pranams. ......

Experience of Master Entering

This is just to let me know whether on Saturday evening at about 4:30 P.M. you had entered my being as I felt myself so. It continued for about a couple of minutes or may be more when I had just begun meeting a student after sending away Shri Balasubramaniam.

Of course I had experienced this some time before.

The other things continue.

.....

Please accept my loving pranams to Thyself and praying for guidance and increase of love and all.

Yours,

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 13th July, 1957

My Varadachari,

Received your affectionate letter of 27th June, 1957. .....

Restlessness

I am glad to hear of the intense restlessness which you feel these days. It is a very happy sign which I wish everybody to be blessed with. The other symptoms appearing as throbbing and pressure all indicate that the effect of the processes undertaken, is growing stronger and deeper. I remained in that state of restlessness for a pretty long period. But now it is all over and there is no trace of it at all, unless it is revived by the persistent restlessness of my associates. The nature of this restlessness now is different too. Now I feel restless for giving higher approaches to those who feel restlessness in themselves, their restlessness being for the realisation of the Goal, conscious or unconscious it may be. But I keep myself under check to a great extent waiting for orders from above.

The feeling of 'no work and no energy' denotes some progress towards inactiveness of mind. In fact to march from our present state of activity to our primitive state of Inactiveness is the gist of all our spiritual pursuit. But this must not be misinterpreted as idleness or dullness of mind.

With best wishes, love to children and my humble pranams to Appaji,

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 13th July, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Received your affectionate letter dated 30th June, 1957. .....

Experience of Sukshma Sharir

You have asked me to let you know whether I entered your being on Saturday at 4:30 p.m. I cannot say the exact date of occurrence. But I did the process of carrying unto you my subtle body (suksham sharir). Once my Master had told me this process to work out on the taught who develops unflinching faith and devotion to the Master. In such cases sukshama sharir is made to enter in the body of the taught which effects greatly in spiritual Advancement. I have no words to express in appreciation to your anubhava. This very thing will help you greatly in the divine pursuit even if I am gone from this world. I am serving you as best as I can and hope my labour will bring fruit someday.

Shri Raghavendra Raoji sent a copy of your excellent letter dated 23rd June, 1957, in response to his own. The heart is the nucleus of the body; plants and flowers have their own nucleus on which their lives depend as the Botany tells us. It is like a seed which grows full-fledged when properly moulded to the congenial atmosphere of spirituality. If the abhyasi observes minutely he will see that the idea of heart is gone and he is internally on some higher plane. Sometimes he is so much internally connected that he feels the pure divine touch. I think I have hinted down about it in my previous letter. If the heart remains in view all along your march that means you are not worshipping God but idol. We should not try to forget the heart but let this condition prevail automatically. It is only the start for your unfoldment. These things cannot be scaled down by the stride of human wisdom. There is a section in U.N.O. for World Peace. They want to have separate army well equipped to crush the power which attacks any country and uses the modern weapons. They have sent to me a form for membership and to help them in this cause. I have sent them a letter by air expressing my views to this point. I am sending you a copy of the letter so poorly drawn up for your perusal.

With best wishes to you and love to children. Please convey my respect to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 8th July, 1957

Dear Sir,

Letter to U.N.O Universal Love

I am glad to receive your bulletin and I pour forth my warm thanks for the awakening for peace created among our brethren of the World. The idea of peace common in all minds, though shattered by the self of the individual mind, is working on individualistic basis to gain one's own end on account of the narrow mindedness of people. To dissipate the idea or individual self and to work harmoniously for the common good is the demand of the time. The conferences and meetings held for the purpose. may only be like a spark to offer a temporary glow to the scattered fragment of peace. Their cries in the wilderness will not carry far on the path of success because of the material agony of faith working at the bottom.

What we, therefore, require at present is only to improve the morals and to discipline the mind. We must learn how to create within the heart a feeling of universal love which is the surest remedy of all evils and can help to free us from the horrors of war. I perfectly agree with our friend late Mr. Bernard Malan when he expresses his faith to unite in the common search for happiness. Happiness, of course, is necessary to end all griefs. But it is like the Black Wall of the scientists which does not allow them to proceed further towards universal love. To come up to the level of real happiness we must necessarily rise above ourselves which is essential for the creation of atmosphere of universal love. That is the primary factor in the solution of the problem. India has ever since been in search of it. She did not encroach upon other countries for war and bloodshed not for reason of her cowardice but because she realised her pious duty towards humanity. They were happy in their own homes in spite of the torturous incursions of other nations. These tortures were to them nothing but flowers sent by the Divine Master to coach them to proper steps necessary for the, uplift of mankind individually and collectively. The seed of it is so deeply laid that still its branches bear blossoms filling the air with the sweet fragrance of peace and happiness. It is so firmly rooted that even the worst tempest cannot uproot it. Such are the things necessary for the uplift of mankind, which every one, Occidental or oriental must treat as a part of his duty. Unless the foundation of peace is made to rest on spiritual basis no better prospects can be expected. It is but definite and certain that sooner or later we will have to adopt spiritual principles if we want to maintain our existence. If the incursions and attacks can be averted by the material force, bloodshed cannot be avoided because even then we have to apply force causing thereby bloodshed on either side. Arrogance cannot be stopped by material force. It is only the spiritual force which can remove the causes of war from the minds of people.

How to introduce these things among the masses who are yet unfamiliar with the accuracy of the mark is the next problem and is equally intricate. If my opinion were to be invited I would lay down the simplest possible method as given below.

Let us all brothers and sisters sit daily at a fixed hour individually at our respective places and meditate for about an hour thinking that all people of the World are growing peace loving and pious.

This process, suggested not with exclusively spiritual motives, is highly efficacious in bringing about the desired result and weaving the destiny of the miserable millions.

With prayer for the success of your noble mission.

Yours sincerely,

Ram Chandra

President,

Shri Ram Chandra Mission

shahjahanpur, U.P., India.

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 23rd July, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Samskaras

On receipt of your affectionate letter dt. 17th July I deeply studied your inner system and came to the definite conclusion that the samskaras have cropped up. When I see with the eye of actual training, I leap with joy and when I see your torturous condition, I want to shed tears. My dearest Varadachari, it is my fault and I admit it in broad daylight, that I have given you very deep acting doses due to which the samskaras which were lying dormant for future bhogam, have become manifest to finish their course, in the earliest possible time. Samskaras, when they crop up, associate themselves, with the ideas which are nearest to them and it is due to this that the abhyasi feels that past and present in a little aggravated form. Since we have to attain liberation in this very life, it is necessary to end the foreign matter. If one life is spent in tortures to save the hundreds of such births, then I think this sacrifice is not much. I do not want to suppress these things, but to minimise the intensity. I will call it a Nature's boon, though everyone will get angry to hear such words. I will try my level best to fry up such things if I am assured that it will not be against the Nature.

.....

With best wishes to you and love to children.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Tirupati

29th July 1957

My dear Revered and Beloved Gurudev,

Please accept my sincerest and loving pranams. I received your kind letter dated 23rd instant on the 26th. I am grateful to Thee for the removal of the samskaras of all lifetimes within the period of this single lifetime. It is Nature's boon as you say. I have come to the conclusion that my sins should have been so great that God hath not been able to remove them as it has to be 'enjoyed' (bhogam). You have asked me to report to you about my condition on the 29th after a week of training from the 22nd so to speak at Thy divine hands. I am sure that I should have been immensely Purified.

Diary of Dr.K.C.V

I shall record what I had written in my diary. On the 22nd: nothing significant mind has been roving about all and sundry. 23rd: same as previous day. 24th: Throbbing all over. Meditation in the morning has increased to 45 minutes; feeling of presence; evening meditation disturbed and restless. 25th: morning (5:05 to 5:50 A.M.) bathing in light: a type of ajapa experience. Throbbing at the heart region. Head region, Bhrumadhya, back right, throbbing. Again at 7:00 to 7:30 A.M. same. Evening short meditation. 26th: 6-45 to 7-30 A.M. feeling of ajapa. Feel very much controlled and peaceful, looking on at things as inevitable and 'must be gone through'. The state of living dead not yet fully established. 27th: (5:05 to 5:45, 7:45 to 8:10, and evening 7:00 to 7:30) attempt to settle down at the Heart centre. But it is seen that the mind goes up to the overhead. 28th: (5:15 to 5:50 A.M. 7:15 to 8:10 and this has been usual. Throbbing sensation all over immediately after getting up, from meditation is the usual phenomenon all these' days. Evening meditation disturbed owing to mind movements on all things. 29th: (5:15 to 6:00 A.M. and 7:15 to 7:30 A.M.) Whole being is as it, were experiencing tension. I was able to feel I believe that sarvam khalvidam Brahma. Illumination of the bluish moonlight not very bright. I am unable to express the type of feeling I have or experience. I am hoping that soon I shall be able to recognize all these.

.....

Craving

I am daily praying to My Gurudev to lead me to that state which will help me to verify the ancients, be able to speak with knowledge on transcendent things. I am not so much oppressed by the suffering - though it is intense and even driving me to thoughts of suicide many times even in recent months as the colossal ignorance that reigns everywhere defeating truth. Truth is never sweet and I believe not Being even. Strangely Negation attracts all.

I crave for Realisation and freedom from these. But it is all God's and Guru's grace.

With loving pranams and deeming myself to be Thy Body

I remain, Yours

KCV

 

shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 9th August, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Condition

Received your affectionate letter dated 22nd and 29th July, 1957. You have felt the glow and throbbing sensations all over. This is a very good condition and for some reason or other I stop to throw light on the experiences till they are matured. This is of course a wonderful experience to feel that you are seeing the things from the back part of the head. I had also felt this sort of experience during my abhyas period. I believe that the real eye which is an instrument of God is being attended to. God is really called Omniscient the refuse of which you have already experienced. Regarding the condition of living dead it is but a start.

Meditation Clarifications

I am very glad to see in your letter that you are increasing the duration of the meditation. You have tremendous contact with me even if you do not increase the time you will improve, but if you do so you will gain experience and knowledge. When you sit in meditation the things coming within your purview are polarized as you meditate with the idea of tranquility and realisation. You will be surprised to know that my associates Dr. P. Sen of Calcutta Medical College meditates for six to eight hours daily. Recently he meditated for 10 hours together with the idea of sacrificing his life and to become one with Brahm. He felt sensations at sahasra dal kamal and wanted to give up his life through that centre. The result was that he suffered from paralysis of the left hand. He will recover soon. I have written to him not to commit such blunder in future. Although he writes, "My ideal was not achieved and I am still living. "

Heart

I had written to you in my previous letter probably that if the heart remains in view all the time then it becomes the idol worship so the abhyasi must travel on. The heart is only a via media. Although we must not try to be away from the heart but let it take its natural course.

Condition

You felt the tension on 28th July '57. Your feeling regarding it is correct because I transmitted to the very core of your being. Regarding the illumination of the bluish moonlight I would say that it would gradually fade away to have its real colour. Your feeling about Servam Khalvidam Brahma is correct. It is also a condition felt by an abhyasi in almost all the higher stages. But it grows subtle as he proceeds on.

.....

Please do not feel oppressed to see the ignorance reigning all over. I had the same feeling for some time during my abhyas period and I had written to my Master like that. These things will go away in course of time and please try to absorb in you and not to absorb yourself, this time, in the uncivilized and unbalanced state of humanity so to say. It speaks of your noble heart no doubt but please try to remain unmindful of all these things.

Sins

Now I am writing a few words concerning you, for the last few days I often felt the mood of weeping in your remembrance although it did not actually happen. It is the reaction of love which you have for this poor being. Do not think about the sins that they have not been condoned by God. When you are mine your sins are my own and they should be shared out by me also. The sins to some extent are fried up also by the fire of love and devotion and the rest come out for bhogam.

Your sentence that you have learnt the art of enjoying physical pain reminded me of my Master. In his last days he was suffering from liver abscess, and the pain was acute in nature and unbearable. During that time he used to sing bhajan (the song sung in the praise of our God) instead of wasting time in crying. He was one of the best singers. He knew the art of singing with the help of chakras. This seems to be his own discovery. I also consulted a few famous singers about it but they were silent saying that only the higher saints can sing in this way. He used to sing sometimes with Birahmandi Sur and the result was that all of us were in the State of trance.

Thoughts while Transmitting

If superfluous thoughts come when you transmit others, you should not worry about. Mostly they are not yours. But they appear like that on account of the push from behind. Sometimes the thoughts of the abhyasis strike when you are transmitting them. The environment brings about these things because the yogi begins to be super-sensuous and sensitive and cleaned. Even a little darkness appears to him like a heap. I give you an example as to what the environment affects. A few years ago I was at Mathura and meditated at the place where Lord Krishna was born. There the mosque stands; the thoughts of theft began to resound while sitting in meditation on the platform of the mosque. I opened my eyes for a little while and then again went into the meditation. To my utter despair the same thoughts crept again. I studied the situation and came to know that this is the den of thieves which after enquiry found to be correct.

I give you another example of the same type. I was at Hardwar some time back and put up in a choultry. I meditated in the room allotted to me and found that a woman appeared before me with her throat lanced. When this scene remained for sometime I opened my eyes and stopped meditation for a few minutes. When I meditated again the same appearance and the scene was coming to my view. I then studied the case and found that the same woman was assassinated there and buried on the spot where I was sitting in meditation. I could not guess as how much time elapsed before she was killed. I cleaned the spot affected and transmitted the dead lady for the peace of her soul. After doing this I found that everything was calm and quiet and dead lady was coming no more to my view. There are so many other examples connected with me and my Master.

I am exceedingly happy to note that you want to spend your time in spiritual work so dear to me. .....

With best wishes to you and love to children. And my sincere pranams to Appaji. .....

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 17th August, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Finishing of Journey in Para Brahmanda Mandal

..... I am overjoyed at the prospects that you are going by leaps and bounds in the spiritual field. I feel that you have nearly finished the journey of the para brahmanda mandal. I am praying that you may get power to proceed further yourself as you have done previously. May I know whether these throbbing sensations prove burdensome to you or they give happiness. If you feel them troublesome, I will minimise them a little. These throbs are almost felt by all my associates. St. Kasturi has gone so far to say that she feels as if the whole body is being eaten away by the white ants. The powers which have grown blunt are being sharpened. The pressure is due to the fact that I had infused the transcendental energy vehemently on 22nd or 23rd July and my working lasted all night long because I was rather confounded with your letter which compelled me to do so. I do not want pressure on any of the organs or the parts of the body. Please write to me if the pressure is still there. The glow of light you feel very often is a fact your whole body is luminous. These are all preparations for the Union.

.....

Stages of Progress

I am elated to hear from you that the state of blankness has now begun to dawn upon you though momentarily. This is the condition which we so heartily crave. This is really the - divine touch which falls to the share of abhyasi by His Grace. Probably I had written to you in some letter that five points of the heart have their peculiar colours. The same conditions and the same colours come again and again in refined form as we march on although they differ in nature. On reaching avyakta gati, they all die out and maya is left far behind. The several colours sometimes come within the short interval of meditation. The colour grayish blue shows that you get hint of the refuse of Reality. I used this word for the sake of expression which means the beginning of Reality more or less to its unadulterated state. I hope that you will get into some state which may be a bit of higher sort of consciousness before the letter reaches you.

How beautifully Saint Kasturi expresses the idea of devotion which runs, "I attempted to bind you with the thread of love but when I regained consciousness I found nothing neither thread nor myself."

.....

..... All are well here. With best wishes to you and the sister. Love to children and respect to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

22nd August 1957

My dear revered and beloved Gurudev,

Please accept my pranams. Your kind letter dated August 17th was received by me today. I am deeply moved by Thy divine love for my humble self. Thy grace it is that is taking me to the centre and the Union.

Experiences

The throbbing continues now off and on. It has not been troublesome though it was unusual to have it and as such looked rather so. Now the calm condition prevails, though the value and existence of the calm is felt when one gets into another state. There was pressure on all the organs but now it persists at the cerebellum.

Diary of Dr.K.C.V

My diary runs thus: 31st: agitation all over the today from head downwards feeling of a, dynamo working within.

3rd August: All light - whole body flooded. All these I have written in my letter dated 6th August.

The experience of blankness continues always the only disturbance is the samskaras or thoughts of every day.

13th August: 2:25 A.M. got up for meditation as if called by Gurudev. Blankness. The usual feature is there. When one gets disturbed from meditation or after meditation there is throbbing all over.

20th Morning I accompanied a relation to Tirumalai. When returning I experienced as it were that Gurudev was with me.

Aspiration

I am praying that I should be able to completely cross over the para brahmanda mandal and enter the blissful experience of the Highest Being which the Gurudev is granting me through His grace.

I am praying that my real love be manifest and grow in strength and knowledge for the Master and the Highest. I shall try to observe the consciousness and write to you. .....

.....

With loving pranams,

yours in all things.

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 3rd September, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Received your affectionate letter dated 22nd August, 1957. .....

Sookshma Sharir

..... You are perfectly right in guessing about yourself that a dynamo is working within. I had written to you some time back that my sookshma sharir has been grafted in you. In other words, I exist in you in subtle form, so to say. I hope it will help you greatly in your transformation. It is the discovery of my revered Master to be weighed in gold. There are so many discoveries of my Lord which help a good deal in making man a real one. When I will come to Tirupati, I will tell you many such things regarding the methods of teaching because I want now to take work from you and that will be the wages of my services which you will like to pay.

Super Conscious States-Reveleations

Now I reveal the mystery about your state flourishing at present. You have read in your book, Efficacy of Raja Yoga dealing with the different sorts of super-conscious states. The elementary stage starts from the heart and that has been awakening on the birthday of Lord Krishna. We have observed fast on that day as he is the head of the sansta. It is the system of the ancients to connect the link of the sansthas with the last avatar. Moreover, we get light from Him for the work directly. If you ask me the function of this elementary state of super-consciousness, I will quote Justice M.L. Chaturvedi of Allahabad. He had written to me that when he was bestowed with it, he could give better judgements. When he was here with me, on 8th July, he was telling me that one of his friends, who is the judge of Supreme Court was praising him very much for his balance in judgement. What I understand is that it is the gate of the Divine wisdom. One begins to rise above the human consciousness speedily if this State is awakened. Suppose the different sorts of super-conscious states be not taken up by the teacher, they will develop out of themselves in the long run. If the teacher is aware of these things and takes them up, the time is greatly saved.

I am glad that the pressure on the organs is now over. If it persists at cerebellum you will find it minimised now. This part of the head remains at work. So the pressure is sometimes felt by the abhyasis, and especially those who try to remain engrossed in the Real Being. It cannot harm you or anybody in any way. My Master once told me that it is necessary for the abhyasis, if God provides, to have good diet.

.....

With best wishes to you and love to children. Please convey my respects to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

9th September 1957

My dear beloved revered Gurudev,

Please accept my humble pranams. I received thy kind letter. I am deeply grateful for the awakening of the elementary super-consciousness in my humble self I have been having quite a blank and mixed with all kinds of persevering thoughts and experiences, so much so I even felt that I have lost all that previously came to me. I believe that it is all an intimation of a change. Further I had dreams of all sorts but none so vivid as to be reported or even recorded. I believe it is all dross samskaras being thrown up.

I had the manuscript of Anant Ki Or (Towards Infinity) read and translated to me by Shri Somesvara Sarma. It is very grand and beyond most of us. The knots could hold us away from the final destiny but for the Master. .........

I do not know what exactly I have to write as a foreword but I trust in Thy granting me inspiration. for I have not yet become aware of the steps Thou hast led me through clearly. I have been deeply moved by Thy grace and Thy love. I do not know what I could do. I only pray for that dynamic experience that will dissolve all doubts and make me plunge in 'Ignorance' into the Ocean of Bliss and then move to the stage of tam and so on. The Master alone can take me. I had experienced swimming with the Master within me as my self and I as His body (which I now perceive the Master has stated in the work as the reconciliation of both dvaita and advaita and their transcendence).

Ecstacy and Craving

..... during my sickness. It, was an ecstatic experience. I had experienced the Master descending into me as light, and now the Master has said that He had grafted His sookshma sharir into me. I am blessed, but can I crave for the great plunge into the Ocean of Divine Bliss and feel myself transformed in all my parts? Is it supra-mentalisation? and supra-mental descent or ascent? Maybe I am not blessed to be the verifier of that experience. But possibly my intuition would clearly perceive the One that has achieved it and be His co-worker through life, through death, through eternity.

Humility

I only pray that my Master would carry me through all these without the slightest taint or smear of ego, for I believe so far the Master had carried me through the several avasthas, through laya and sarupyata, which does not focus the ego, but abolishes it or dissolves the forming ego ere it forms itself. That is why I am not even conscious of passing through all the pradesas, pind, brahmanda and para brahmanda. Am I right?

.....

Some have constructive ideas: I have only transformative ideas of the individual. Not until one is free can one try to free others for one may bind all otherwise.

With loving pranams.

Yours ever and thy body.

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated : 11th September, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Received your affectionate letter dated 7th September, 1957. When I look to your letter, I naturally rebound to myself to see if the conditions you are feeling are due to myself or to yourself. If we examine this thing at the surface, we are happy to write my pet sentence that the merit goes to you. But if we go deep into the matter, the conscience calls up to the glory of the Master. Anyhow, you deserve congratulations. Your progress is so rapid that I hope to see with my own eyes at least a few personalities proving themselves to be the shining stars of the Mission. I have every hope from you as well that my dreams would be a reality. But when I write this thing to you, my thoughts reflect to Shri Raghavendra Rao also. The sentences above are the downpour of my love issuing forth from the very core of my heart.

Crossing Para Brahmanda Mandal

Now I come to your letter, giving you a happy news that you have crossed the region of para brahmanda mandal on 6th September at 10:35 P.M. I congratulate you for such a speedy improvement and pray that your step may go on and on without a break. There are so many regions after it that I hesitate to write lest you should be confused. Although the power of the Master is behind your back. It has been a custom of the guides generally in the past not to tell the abhyasis beforehand the conditions they were to experience lest they might create them artificially by exercising their developed will force but I don't expect this thing from you hence telling you a little about the region which you have stepped in. This is the region where the greatness of God is established and the wonder begins. What is the wonder? The idea of the greatness of God is in itself so great that we think ourselves a drop of the ocean. Surrender begins in that region. Those who are sensitive feel these things, but the conditions prevail in all. I will ask you sometime later about the immobilisation of desire. It has taken its root now.

Ideas and Thoughts

We should try to remain unmindful, of the ideas and thoughts and not to allow ourselves to the suggestiveness of the surroundings. In other words, we should be unmindful and not to fight with them. If somehow or other they arise, think them as mine because you are mine. In this way the breeding ground of thought is my heart and not yours. For your sentence about imagination of events, I give below the English translation of a couplet by a Persian poet:

"The Creator has every care of His creatures; to care for one's own needs is the cause of all worries.

Dawn of Reality

I am glad that you are restless to go beyond what is at present under your grip. You have risen a little beyond the human consciousness which is developing more and more. The white grey colour speaks of something akin to real one, but the condition of the faint reflection of the colourlessness is being expected. This thing is the dawn of Reality.

You have experienced my presence in the Shiva temple. I hope further on to see me everywhere. Doctor, have you observed that I remain with you like the shadow with the body.

.....

With best wishes to you and love to children. Convey my respects to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

16th September, 1957

My dear Revered and beloved Gurudev,

Please accept my sincerest pranams. Your kind letter dated 11th September to hand. I have been deeply moved by the sentiments expressed by your good self. All glory to the Master.

It is so good to have been led beyond the para brahmanda mandal and to enter into super-conscious regions. I believe you would have by now received my letter dated 9th or 10th instant.

Verifications

I have been trying to verify the experience (i) of Thyself as always with me, (ii) as having grafted Thy karana sharir in me, and (iii) the immobilization o desire. These few days I have been earnestly seeking to explore myself in meditation. I found that the meditation was somehow different and even a feeling of dejection took possession of me.

I have been the day before yesterday almost all the night in the endeavour to catch myself in that state of which Thou hast spoken, but I became tired. But I cannot complain, for there are perhaps knots which have yet to be untied before I could experience all that Thou hast written to me about.

I only pray that the dejection will not be long lasting and all that I feel would be but steps in the ascent. Can you make clear to me when the supramental consciousness or super-mind arises and becomes the knot of a higher type of being? Have you any verification of the Aurobindonian experience of the Super-mind? Of course this is because of the curiosity to verify and fix the planes of the divine evolutionism of which He speaks.

.....

With loving pranams.

Yours,

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 21st September, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Thoughts

Received your affectionate letter dt. 9th September, 1957. The blankness is the-seed-bed for the stage of 'Ignorance'. 'The thoughts you feel are not yours. They come from the things round about us, and from other persons. Thoughts swimming in the atmosphere also affect the abhyasis who have their approaches in brahmanda mandal. In such case they will not be anchored to the attention. If they persist then it means that the drifting thoughts have found their relatives sleeping in your mind and has awakened them to activity and the result is that you find yourself taking the personal interest and some irritation, disappointment or anxiety has arisen. Pay no heed-to them is the remedy.

Samskaras

When the devotion is developed in the heart of the abhyasi for his Master, the samskaras are thrown up in dreams. I had written to you in one of the letters that samskaras which have become manifest will be minimised. They are now being thrown out in different ways, trying always as far as possible that they may not burst out into some disease. You are undergoing their bhog unknowingly and unnoticed.

Re. approach: You have already crossed 8 knots as given in the book, Anant Ki Or. You are now on ninth one from 6.9.57 as I had written to you previously in my last letter. I have taken the major knots and discussed them in the book and left out the minor ones. We take generally in training the master cell of the knot which illumines all other minor cells in its sphere. You get power thereby to complete the course of the journey in that sphere.

I assure you that you will enter the region of 'Ignorance' by the grace of God. I am hurrying up in your case but at the same time I want that you may have the experiences of the way. The training of my Master is of course, unlike others, a peculiar one that an abhyasi does not know his strength for some time for fear of being overtaken by egoism. The will of Master is at work continually for digging the grave of egoism to its last run.

Supramental

Regarding your question of supramental, I would submit that it is in flow. I have a mind to let you know the very thing practically by the grace of my Master when I come to you. Last time when I was with you I thought about how to warm yourself with it by anubhava but it was too early at that time. I hope my prayers will be granted and I will succeed in what I have said above. I am now entirely open-hearted to you because you have already mortgaged me. I will also give you a hint of tam as far as your nervous system allows and it rests upon you to understand it.

With best wishes to you and the sister. Convey my respect to Appaji

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

26th September 1957

My dear Revered and beloved Gurudev,

Please accept my humble pranams and forgive me if I have in any sense committed any folly.

.....

Condition of Helplessness

I am glad to be told that I am at the 9th knot. Though the distance to be travelled is great yet thanks to the interest which the Master has bestowed on this unworthy creature, he will reach the goal promised. I should of course confess to you that I have during these two weeks and more not any thing more to report. I am feeling utterly helpless and tired about all the impressions, incidents and so on. Again and again I have felt that I am no better than a stone and all strength and knowledge that I can get are from the Divine Master alone. Should I say that it is all my karma and fate. It is true that when one's possession, such as ego, goes and nothing else has yet taken its place when the true Ruler is yet not apprehended and felt consciously or otherwise within, then one suffers a feeling of loss. I believe I am in such a condition fo restlessness and helplessness. How can I have awareness of my devotion? I feel I have had no devotion so far and all devotion has been on Thy side alone. It is a veriest truth that I am saying. God knows when my humiliations would end and the light shine brightest in me so that I may lift the burden of sorrow away from so many of our innocent victims here.

Anasuya

Shri Krishna speaks of anasuyatmakai buddhi as the most important qualification for yoga. I have a holy horror of all egoism, and I have prayed throughout that that should be extinguished. I can fully remember why I had been unfit for so long because of this asuya which corrupts all understanding. No wonder I have been tested, and am indeed even now being tested, till the roots of ego are completely uprooted. May my Master be pleased to bestow on me the boon of egolessness and anasuya.

.....

Task of Transformation

Personally I should invite your kind attention to the fact that a centre should naturally function with its spiritual members and possible the preceptor or whoever is to look after the centre, should not be one who claims any privileges or has any natural functioning unit is the desideratum. I do not know how you will organize it. I have been really seriously thinking with my friend Shri Balasubramaniam about the composition and function and working of the same, and would very much like to remain utterly incognito in work. I realise that Thy greatest hope is in getting the best men fitted for the huge task of transformation. Men's minds and hearts have to be changed and a new outlook has to come into being, a supra-mental force must operate in and outside every institution of whatever kind so as to help in the regeneration of all. This I am sure is so very serious a work that it requires perfect spiritual organisms through which the Divine force of thine works and even unconsciously to the world and the organisms till the fullest possibility is attained. I do not know whether I have expressed myself correctly. But I shall abide by Thy will.

I am feeling again and again despondent about external things, though it is very much like a sting and a pang, albeit short-lived.

I am not even concerned with the distinction between initiated and uninitiated. I do not know the difference. I am hopeful that by the grace of God and the Master I shall deserve to be His wholly and enjoy Him wholly too if that is possible.

I am glad that the programme is being finalised.

All of us are doing well. With loving pranams,

Yours,

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 5th October, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

.....

I shall reply your question about the super-mind practically, if possible by His grace, when I will be with you. Your view is correct that when one loses his possessions such as ego etc., whatever remains after it is the Master's and is the true form of dedication. In such a state, the feelings of suffering humiliation or helplessness vanish automatically. If you remember Him constantly, it becomes then sufficient for your awareness of devotion. I appreciate the idea that as you say, you feel no devotion to the Master. It shows that you are relieved of a part of egoism.

I appreciate what you have written in reference to Shri Ganesan for the cause of the Mission. I shall take care of your golden advice in this connection. The power both inside and outside is there in the Mission. If anybody takes up this work, he will feel the truth of what I have said.

Your letter of 27th September, 1957. I felt with concern your feeling of distress over certain facts and events of life. Prayer of course, as you agree, is the best solution. It is no doubt painful to swallow the poison but if the poison is freed of its poisonous effect, it shall no longer be unpalatable. To avoid controversies is not cowardice but a virtue. It means you are inwardly more attached to higher pursuits and do not want to waste your time and energy fruitlessly. With regard to your sleepless night, referred to in the letter, I think so far as I can recollect, it may possibly be the same night on which I too could not sleep till 3:30 remaining all the while in your thought. I do not remember the date. After 3:30 1 had an hour's sleep only.

With best wishes to you and Sister and love to children. Convey my respect to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 25th October, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

You find Aurobindonians interested in you. The reason is clear. You are a talented man of vast learning and noble characteristics. They want to utilise your merits, acquired by your self efforts, for their cause, in the interest of the people. The same is the case with me though in a slightly different way. I too mean to utilise your services for the Mission, but with the instrument sharpened by my humble services and prayers for your approach up to the level where learning assumes the trend of forgetfulness. That means the dawn of real knowledge, which by itself makes other hearts charged with divine influence.

You want to absorb in this poor being which is dead and gone. That may be fortunate for me. To tell you the truth I also did the same. With me the only object in view was to realise my revered Master. God was a distant thing for me to conceive of. It was on a Dipawali day that I happened to find the beloved Master himself absorbed in me and it was later verified by him. In this respect Dipawali is a very significant occasion in my life. I did all this because my Master was worthy of it and I know Him and HIM alone.

Stepping into region beyond Para Brahmanda Mandal

I may also intimate to you that since you have stepped into the region beyond para brahmanda mandal, the kundalini also seems to be affected in a way. I do not mean to touch this latent power except a little cleaning thereof. Ouspensky is very critical as regards this Serpent Power, but I see in you a natural trend towards it though it may yet take a sufficient time for its awakening. Do you feel some tension or pain in the region between the navel point and the swadhistan chakra, though I do not expect it so soon. ......

I am greatly remembering one of my boys there for about a month. He may probably be Ch.Narayan.

With best wishes and love to children. Respect to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

9th November, 1957

My dear Revered and beloved Gurudev,

......

Yearning

In the meanwhile I have not perceived any further progress or change. I feel that though the meditation lasts yet the invading impressions from outside is yet disturbing. I yearn for the plunge into the Ocean of Bliss which Thou hast prescribed for cleaning the body so that I might feel myself beyond the pressure - pain principle and delight in the glory of the Supreme Master and drink deep both within and without that real being which keeps me going.

Indeed I now find that I sleep longer hours than I used to do, though once or twice the dreams about which I wrote come vividly.

With loving pranams,

yours,

KCV

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 11th November, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

.....

March towards Reality

I am happy to find that you are feeling neither happiness nor unhappiness. When we travel we meet the different sorts of surroundings and environment. Some are pleasing and some unpleasant. But the journey continues in spite of all these things. The same is the case with our march towards Reality. While travelling we get different impressions in different parts of the regions. They rise for the sake of fall because we have to be free from all these things for merging in Reality. But everything dwindles into nothing in the last reach. We acquire the state of balance but not perfectly because in that case the life will be extinct. Before the world was born everything was in a perfectly balanced state. The balance was disturbed and the world came into being.

The saints are generally said to have the thoughtless state, but my experience and theory show that they can become almost thoughtless and can never enjoy the perfect state of thoughtlessness, because in that case they will return to the state where life is extinct. They are of course not perturbed with the different musings and if the thoughts come they can remove them instantly, and can remain for any length of time without the presence of thoughts. In other words they can command over the musings and are not their slaves. What happens generally, these thoughts are replaced by divine thoughts and they are not to be checked, but should be cordially welcomed. Their tongues become the tongue of Nature, their hearts become the playground of divine thoughts, their minds become the abode of pure consciousness.

Condition

Now I come to your condition. You write, "I am neither happy nor unhappy." When you feel neither happy nor unhappy, think it to be the seed, and it is decidedly so, of that condition which will grow and develop, resulting in the condition depicted above. "This is the condition which generally the abhyasis do not like, but I am elated to know it. The condition you have written is only in the seed form. It will have the different squall of winds which will be fanning the seed to grow into a perennial tree. I remember once I said to my Master, "I feel myself permanently in one condition which is neither bliss nor otherwise. No change happens even if every bone of my body be hacked off with an iron weapon. In other words the taste is like that of stone, without salt. He very beautifully replied. If I take out this condition from you for a while, will you like it?"

After pondering a while I replied, "I shall prefer death rather than to be away from it. "

Transmission

The pressure you feel in the chest is due to transmission, although I take care to insert the required amount of power only as much as may be needed. In such case you should always inform me, although there is no danger of any kind. Throbbing in several parts means the awakening of different things which are in sleepy condition.

When I say for any condition to be far off, you must not be confused. All the stages are for human beings and specially for a person like you. My idea of perfection is a peculiar one and almost none will agree to it. My own experience has brought me to think it like that. A man should have complete laya avastha with Brahma as far as is possible for the soul, resulting the Knowledge of the Real and also the knowledge of all the sciences and elements for which people are trying. If one has no awareness of these things on concentration, laya avastha is not complete in the Knower.

The dream you saw is good. The Godly shaktis are arising to co-operate with you. The dreams also come according to the tendencies of a man and his attitude in life. I had many such dreams during my abhyas period.

With best wishes to you and love to children, please convey my respect to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 15th November, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

It is, of course, right that you are not perceiving your inner condition nowadays. But, when I peep into you, I am overjoyed. My thought seems to have wings when I study the efficacious teaching of my Master coming to you direct. I write, to you a few lines for your information and can boldly say that curvature will never form in our sanstha. Please go through my letter where I have written the word 'echo'. You and Shri Raghavendra Rao both are undergoing the course of Nature herself which will weave transformation ultimately. Pure consciousness is descending infusing the regions below. It is absorbing in the blood and flesh. The course of Nature is now about to complete and yesterday at about 11 in the night. I observed that it will take only a few days more. I kept quiet but only engaged myself in cleaning the points and the system according to my habit. It is really a great thing which I will call a boon of Nature. Now I can entirely rely upon the Shastric injunctions that an abhyasi can only gain the object when God Himself wants it. The symptom is now apparent. The Yatra of the region you get after crossing the para brahmanda mandal has not yet commenced because the Nature was having her own course. So please do not think that you are not improved.

My Master once talked of the echo and I was thinking and thinking but the matter was not clear to me. Now the cases are before me. You have left yourself under my care, so the disturbing elements are mine and you are free from them. If such disturbing things come unto you think that they are mine and I trust that they will immediately bid farewell.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 4th December, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

Your affectionate letters of 19th and 22nd. I am glad to learn about your recent experiences given in the first letter. It is not mere imagination but has a real basis. The experiences stated in the next letter confirm the view. Your love and devotion has put me under a spell, so to say, and I eagerly wish to be closer and closer to your heart, viewing my Varadachari everywhere in and out.' .....

With best wishes and love to children and respects to Appaji,

Yours,

Ram Chandra

 

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 14th December, 1957

My dear Varadachari,

..... My impatience to see you the earliest, cannot be translated in words. This is the reaction of your own devotional feelings.

Saints in Drreams

I regret the sad result of the boy who was under your treatment. Mysterious are the ways of God who alone can know what is best in every particular case. Our dreams and visions may or may not have any bearing with them. The appearance of saints in dreams is often usual in the course of the automatic run of spiritual development. They tend to help the abhyasi. They work from higher spheres and their actions and words are all divine.

With best wishes and love to children. My respects to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

Madras