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An Aspirant's report on his condition

- Dr.S.V.Raghavan

{ This article is a report on the spiritual condition of an advanced aspirant published with his consent with an intention that some aspirants may feel encouraged to perform their sadhana assiduously - Editor }

General:

His remembrance is constant and continuous felt as a stream of consciousness just below the waking consciousness. The chief concern is to render the best possible service as He wills it and to be alert for it; all other desires have worn out. The only other remaining desire is to leave the body in a state of alertness and in a state of union with Him. The aspiration is to emulate the Master totally, the way He was while in this world in total laya avastha in His Master doing His work all the while with no other objective besides. There is full confidence that this desire is being progressively actualized, the example of dear guide being a source of constant inspiration.

The constant and forceful thought of the goal, the ‘final state’ is there in the very depths of the heart which resolve is seen to provide the required impetus for further movement. His assurance that He is there to ensure safe arrival at the destination of every seeker has removed the hankering cum anxiety behind goal attainment. Craving has become a silent cry even as the embers of a fire that has died out; it is there yet not there. Maintaining the craving is seen as a duty ordained by Him and His help is perceived to be always available for it.

I have long desired to share my experience in cleaning using the ocean of bliss method which I have been following for a long time. I have found it to be very efficacious which is gratefully acknowledged. For the last several years I have felt the forceful descent of waves of energy, the entire top and back portion of the head almost throb with the vibrations of this force; it is as if one is wearing a skull cap which covers the entire head with this powerful energy field. The waves flow through the entire system cleansing it. The end of the session is marked by a great relief as if a big burden has been removed, the heart being emptied of all else but the fullness of His presence. Great peace, calmness, and light bliss fill the entire being. There is the feeling of being thoroughly rejuvenated.

There is happiness and a sense of fulfillment. Divine aspiration fills the heart followed by a quiet resolve to follow the path in obedience to His dictates with firm faith, true love and devotion. There is the impulsion to rededicate the entire being to His sacred cause. I realize acutely being immersed in a silent unobtrusive omni-pervasive field of His presence immediately after the cleaning; again the same vivid feeling is there after giving sittings and satsangh and after (often during) meditations. On other occasions the same experience is had with some effort directed towards the gentle diversion of attention from the current conscious activity.

Study of inner condition (typical):

When the attention is directed towards the heart, heart beats are heard; a deep absorptive state follows if one were to be attentive to the beats themselves. A dark central field resembling that of the interior of a cave surrounded by diffuse light with faint traces of light purple or pink is felt to be there; this varies though, on several occasions a bright luminous field greenish or golden yellow and sometimes entirely colourless also. As the attention/ inner absorption continues, a slowing down of the breath, followed by deep breathing interspersed by long pauses occurs. A deep calmness, silence, stillness, steadiness is experienced. There is neither thought nor feeling apart from the feeling of calmness/absorption with no idea of in what one is absorbed, with what one seems to have merged and so on. There is just this awareness of being absorbed and there is variation in this intensity of awareness during the state of absorption. It is so very engaging and the state beckons us to get into it again and again. It is possible to enter into and prolong this state at will.