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101. ఆత్మదర్శనము (Amtadarsanamu)


Realisation of self as an instrument of the Divine.

We are trying to clean our mind, we clean it thoroughly. When we try to look into it, we don't see us, we see the God from behind. When you purified yourself to certain extent, and your mind reflects, it reflects only the God and not you. So the image to be seen here is the God. The person who sees is yourself.

A person who keeps a mirror, his interest is that he wants to see himself. You clean your mirror, i.e. your mind, the whole of the anthahkarana is thoroughly cleaned. When it is cleaned, as Babuji Maharaj says, whatever you see is only that of the divine. Whatever you will, will be that of the Divine. So you can not see yourself, you can only see God there. We start with the idea of seeing ourselves, then we see only God. Many saints have sung this.

The whole concept of fifth knot is one of balance, the final stage of fifth knot. What do you get there? You are free, you are as balanced as the sky. It is nakedness. The earth is decorated, the sky is naked. That is the state of mind you have got, that is the experience. So, atmadarsanam means you become one with that type of feeling. In that state of atmadarsanam, you know you are really nothing.

The prasantata felt before is what we have got here at the fifth knot. In the second knot we know that we are all inseperably related to the Divine. That is the nature of your self. You are inseperably connected with Him, you are dependent upon Him and you are an instrument of the Divine, all these three things come there. That particular awareness that we had at the second becomes full here. While we know that we are one with the Divine in expansion, we also know that we are instruments of the Divine.

If the mirror is the atma, it should reflect the God within me. That is why Andal goes on polishing the mirror, not to look at her face, but to look at God's face. She is looking into the mirror and the mirror is what we see. The mirror represents Lord Krishna. She will not see her face there, she sees the face of only Lord Krishna. When I look in a mirror, my face shouldn't be seen. I see Master here, I clean this mirror more and more, so that the picture of God is clearer, not my picture.

Andal has so much love and dedication for God, Krishna, to such an extent she sees only him and not herself anywhere. Even when she sees the mirror, she sees only Him.

Refer Andal's story in the book Alvars of South India by Dr. K.C.Varadachari.